"Well Who Ever Told You That Life Was Fair"

I know thousands upon thousands of women are pregnant everyday, but I want you to know if you have never experienced it, that it sucks. You have no control over your body or your mind. You have to understand that this little baby.. that doesn't even know it exists is now in control of the rest of your life. I work full time, and I want to say it is a crime. All pregnant women should have to do is sit on a couch and eat ice cream until the day they have to go through the painful and indescribable process of labor. It isn't fair.And fuck whoever says "Well who said life is fair". Fuck you and your inability to let me be a bitter, whining, American. How about I beat you mercilessly and pour salt in your wounds while dancing around you saying "well who ever told you that life was fair"

You want to know what else isn't fair? That I have nothing to talk about anymore besides being pregnant. It has taken over my life, because well.. it is my life now. I don't go out, I don't read interesting books, or talk about interesting things.. I go to work, come home, and sit until I pass out because I literally don't have the energy (mentally or physically) to do anything else. I cooked dinner the other day and it was comparable to fighting a minotaur after completing the labyrinth. I am a complete drag to be around. ha. Most people probably just wish I would have the damn thing already, but you know what it won't be any better then. After I do finally have this child all I will talk about it him. When I have a screaming newborn.. I really really won't have a life anymore.ha. Not to mention the fact that I am the soul provider for my family so I have to be responsible not only for myself but for the sniveling children I already have... the boys.

Now I am not a man hating angry should be lesbian... okay maybe I am.

Actually I have no idea how I ended up with the boy I am with. He is nothing I thought I wanted, but I had to have him for some reason. We met in a DMV.. yeah what a love story. It was the first and only time that I have ever just walked up to someone and gave them my number. Well I gave his dad my number, because by the time I actually grew the balls and starting walking across the floor he wasn't there anymore and I couldn't turn around. So I gave my number to his father making up some super lame and probably really obvious lie about how I was a photography student and I wanted to talk his picture for an opening I was having. So I guess we really met on Halloween where I took this unknowing, ford driving , Goodwill Hunting potential having, trailer park white boy to a live show of the Rocky Horror Picture show. I was dressed as a dominatrix in fishnets and a corset and he was dressed as himself.. a dirty white boy from Newport News Virgina. Beautiful right? I introduced him to all the faggots ( if you are offended, shut up.. you are what you are) and weirdies who were all similarly dressed as slaves and masters, and suprisingly he got along quite well. Well here we are almost two years later having a baby. What the fuck is that?

This is Todd who is completely incapable of keeping his eyes open when you take his picture.  He always looks awful in photographs. I honestly have maybe 6 photos of him and all of them are awful. This is about as good as it gets.


So I don't know where I am going with this. Maybe this is just some insight into who I am. This is my life. Todd, baby, work. It isn't fun or exciting, but it is my little piece of existence.